The Battle

"I see two armies. The one to my left is black...all black. The one to my right is all white. I am in between, walking on a fence that continues to grow more narrower with each passing moment. "

This is the begining of a spiritual battle I faced on Friday night. I want to back track though to give you my full story...

Punch NUMERO 1!
THis past week I spent a great few days in Steinbach. I stayed with an awesome friend and her husband who, most, would belive that they are christians. I am not sure where they stand fully but I believe that the Christian Faith is not strong point in their lives. But they could have the world fooled. This got me thinking. I consider myself a nice person and because of that, I called myself a Christian...I had people convinced I was a strong/devoted Christian, which truthfully, it has been 3 years since I have been.

Punch NUMERO 2
Later in the week, I went for coffee with a friend, a friend I can be open and honest to, and one who holds me accountable. She asked me how my spiritual life is going and I responded my typical answer "not wherre it should be but I know I have to change before I go back to leading youth in Sept." (RED FLAG-Change to be a youth leader...I think not, that change needs to happen long before hand!)

PUNCH NUMERO 3
I came home, knowing I had a funeral to attend the next day. The funeral was my friends 29 year old brother. The theme of the message was to live the life you have, because life is short.

"I see two armies. The one to my left is black...all black. The one to my right is all white. I am in between, walking on a fence that continues to grow more narrower with each passing moment. "

The battle rages on...

All these "punches" had hit hard. I knew I had a decision to face, but I never anticipated the spiritual battle I was entering. I could see the picture, the picture I described above, the one added thing....Cory was the only recognizable face behind the white army side.

I battled in my head, crying and pacing out loud, something had me attached to both sides and both sides were at a stand still. I paced my bedroom for minutes, "which side do I choose?" I knew that this was a final discision, there was no aborting or turning back. I froze in fear.

"I LOVE YOU." These three words Cory said physically, yet it was not his voice...
"COME TO ME." Yet again, he said these words, yet it was GOD SPEAKING!

All at once a battle began. Both sides pulled with all their might. I could see this battle in my head, I could feel each pull phsically. And than a pair of scissors appeared in my hand. I knew I had to cut the cord and fall to the side of my decision. "I LOVE YOU, COME TO ME" I hear again. I struggled and cut that black cord, I was uplifted through the white army, to my husbands arms. I was free of the bond. I could literally see the White army overtaking the black. The battle Had been won.

God spoke to me. He told me he was Glad I was back to passionatly being his child again. He told me it would not be an easy change but He would guide me. He would encourage me, He would reward me for my faithfulness. And I see that already!

I can truely and passionatly say I LOVE CHRIST! I want to shout it from the roof tops. I can also say I truely love my husband like never before. Christ is now the true centre of our relationship. We, as a couple, are doing devotions together, praying together, and most importantly loving each other.

God is overtaking my life again. I love it. He is helping my attitudes and negativity disappear, and changing my views on different things.

I know this new journey is going to be rough but God has promised me great reward...and that is Heaven! GOd bless you all!

Holding on to him (GLADLY!)

Cassandra