Well it is just 2 sleeps until I leave for Guyana! I can not believe that I am heading cross countries on a plan very very very soon! These long flights over an ocean, which i have never ever seen! I am so excited wow... of course i am procrastinating packing...so i really should start thinking about that. I am pumped for tonite...Mike and julie are coming over for the night and than we are heading to the city first thing in the morning to pick up my passport and i have to get one more needle yet. I also start taking my dang malaria pills tonite so that should be interesting..yeah for more drugs in my system! so frusterating. but a few prayer requests for the upcoming days...
1) Saftey for flying and a speedy time through the airport and security!
2) The rest of my funds would come in (About 1000.00 short still)
3) Comfort for cory and myself with being seperated for 3 weeks!
thanks all! love you!
About Me
- Cassandra
- First off, I am a child of God. One who struggles, yet overcomes. One who feels weary, yet fulfilled. One who deals a lot with finding out who I truely am, yet I am loved!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sealed
My emotions are not words,
My thoughts are not actions,
They are musings and feelings not verbal.
Thing I can explain to myself,
I can wrap my mind around it,
Yet my lips are sealed.
Yet it needs out.
Yet it needs to be set free.
Yet I cannot do it.
Something quick that i wrote while trying to get my head on straight and my life in order. sigh.
My thoughts are not actions,
They are musings and feelings not verbal.
Thing I can explain to myself,
I can wrap my mind around it,
Yet my lips are sealed.
Yet it needs out.
Yet it needs to be set free.
Yet I cannot do it.
Something quick that i wrote while trying to get my head on straight and my life in order. sigh.
Struggles and Perfection
Today I feel like writing. I feel like putting all my thoughts and emotions onto paper (well computer). Yet the words stop somewhere between my brain and my fingers.
I sit here and look out my living room window the most white beatiful ground covering ever. Than I get shivers. I get shivers not because it is cold in my house but because it is so beautiful. The good shivers. The shivers that remind me that God created it. So white and pure, just like Him. Love getting little reminders, something as simple as snow, that remind me that God is perfect and that everything he does is perfect.
This is my struggle. My struggle is how is God perfect and everything he has created is perfect yet there is so much pain.
I live in a house where things don't always work right, where things break. My husband and I arguee and say things we should not. A house where our dog is not perfect by any shot of the imagination. Why does God allow this suffering?
I work at place where I often see things I dont want to. Staff telling clients "your the first person I see in the morning, and the last person I want to see". I work in a place where people get forgotten about for over an hour while using the washroom. I work in a place that there is a lot of hurt. Why does God allow this suffering?
I live in a city where drinking and driving is such a huge issue. In a city where the high school has to have camara's for personal safety. A city where drugs is an everyday occurances. Why does God allow this suffering?
I live in a world filled with war. A world filled with violence, hatred and predjudice. A world where everyone is so incredible self absorbed that they dont see their neighbor struggling to survive. Why does God allow this suffering?
It is in the dark times we grow. It is when we leave the valley that we see the incredible light. It is the struggles that we grow through to become stronger. But we must become so weak that this quote becomes true.
As long as your own abilities are sufficient to rise to the challenge, you will never understand that He doesn't just give strength. He is your Strength. In the breaking process, God has no intention of helping you get stronger. He wants you to become so weak that He can express Himself as the strength you need in every situation." - Steve McVay
All these challenges and struggles I face around me everyday need to be my reminder to become "so weat that He can express Himself as the Strength I need in every situation".
God is Perfect, He is perfect through our pain and our struggles. PRAISE GOD
I sit here and look out my living room window the most white beatiful ground covering ever. Than I get shivers. I get shivers not because it is cold in my house but because it is so beautiful. The good shivers. The shivers that remind me that God created it. So white and pure, just like Him. Love getting little reminders, something as simple as snow, that remind me that God is perfect and that everything he does is perfect.
This is my struggle. My struggle is how is God perfect and everything he has created is perfect yet there is so much pain.
I live in a house where things don't always work right, where things break. My husband and I arguee and say things we should not. A house where our dog is not perfect by any shot of the imagination. Why does God allow this suffering?
I work at place where I often see things I dont want to. Staff telling clients "your the first person I see in the morning, and the last person I want to see". I work in a place where people get forgotten about for over an hour while using the washroom. I work in a place that there is a lot of hurt. Why does God allow this suffering?
I live in a city where drinking and driving is such a huge issue. In a city where the high school has to have camara's for personal safety. A city where drugs is an everyday occurances. Why does God allow this suffering?
I live in a world filled with war. A world filled with violence, hatred and predjudice. A world where everyone is so incredible self absorbed that they dont see their neighbor struggling to survive. Why does God allow this suffering?
It is in the dark times we grow. It is when we leave the valley that we see the incredible light. It is the struggles that we grow through to become stronger. But we must become so weak that this quote becomes true.
As long as your own abilities are sufficient to rise to the challenge, you will never understand that He doesn't just give strength. He is your Strength. In the breaking process, God has no intention of helping you get stronger. He wants you to become so weak that He can express Himself as the strength you need in every situation." - Steve McVay
All these challenges and struggles I face around me everyday need to be my reminder to become "so weat that He can express Himself as the Strength I need in every situation".
God is Perfect, He is perfect through our pain and our struggles. PRAISE GOD
Saturday, December 12, 2009
529 am
Well here i sit, trying not to die from couging. I slept for 3 hours and that seems to be it..nearly ready to buy cough syrup...thats how bad it is! I really have nothing new to say...my guyana tri is coming u quickly....I am nervous. I am still about 1500 dollars short which is scary...still owing just under a grand for first semester...So when i dont know what to write...i like Chrystie's idea...lists...thankful for...
1) Thankful for my blue cozy chair.
2) I am thankful for our wood burning fireplace! So nice to sit in front of it and warm up...stupid fever!
3)Drugs...cold drugs, cough drugs...good stuff!
4)Farkle...what else can i do to kill time at this time in the morning...o ya that brings me to number 5...
5) Friends who are crazy and still online at this time...cough cough mike!
6) For glasses...cant really see what i am doing without them...like right now....
7)For an incredible husband who lets me live in the same house while sick....poor guy!
8) Bayleigh...though she eats things she shouldnt, and gets to hyper sometimes...I love her to peices...
9) for the internet...how i love thee!
Cassandra
1) Thankful for my blue cozy chair.
2) I am thankful for our wood burning fireplace! So nice to sit in front of it and warm up...stupid fever!
3)Drugs...cold drugs, cough drugs...good stuff!
4)Farkle...what else can i do to kill time at this time in the morning...o ya that brings me to number 5...
5) Friends who are crazy and still online at this time...cough cough mike!
6) For glasses...cant really see what i am doing without them...like right now....
7)For an incredible husband who lets me live in the same house while sick....poor guy!
8) Bayleigh...though she eats things she shouldnt, and gets to hyper sometimes...I love her to peices...
9) for the internet...how i love thee!
Cassandra
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