Dear Blog,

Dear blog,
I am sorry for neglecting you and forgetting about you. I will try to be a better blogger.

Sincerely

Me.

Thankfulness

This last week, has been one, that in reality I would rather forget. I found out news I didnt want to know, I am super short staffed at work, I have been feeling sick, money's tight, and the list could continue... but today, as I was suffering the blogs I stalk...I mean follow, one wrote about harmony, and how things work together, and one wrote about focusing on the positive instead of the negative...I was also looking through a friend of mine's photo's on facebook, and she has so many meaningful relationships in her life and I wondered why...its because she is so postive...positve people attract people... So today, I want to be positive...

1) I am thankful for God. The fact we are saved is incredible. The fact that God cares enought about me to slap me upside the head to make me realize this somedays is incredible as well

2) I am thankful for my husband. Our 2 year annivarsary is coming up in 2 weeks and though it has not always been daisy and gumdrops, it is worth every struggle.

3) I am thankful for the ability to take a vacation this year and to meet one of my second cousins, who is an incredible women of God.

4) I am thankful for my cat...yes me...thankful for my cat....weird I know. My cat loves me unconditionally and MAN, I need that some days!

5) I am thankful for my job. Yes I am so short staffed at one house, but the other house runs it self so well... and the staff I have are incredible. I couldnt ask for a better team.

6) I am thankful for air conditioning...enough said.

7) As hard as this one is to say. I am thankful for God's timing.

8) I am thankful for pure acapella music...wow...

9) i am thankful for the few good friends i have

day 33

A picture of your favorite Disney Movie

I think the reason I love Lion King so much is the music! THe song circle of life is incredible in so many languages...listen to it in french. so beautiful .

Day 32

A picture of your favorite bird....
(what kind of topic is this one?!)

I love golden finshes. The coloring illustrates how awesome of a God we have!

Day 31

A Picture of someone who is always there for you...

My husband is my best friend! i am so blessed to have him in my life. I know that I have but him through hell and back some days but he loves me uncondionalably.

Day 30

Someone you miss:

I miss Cherie! I always miss Cherie. I can't wait till september to see my beatiful sister and my 2 cute nephews!

Day 30

A picture of someone you miss...

Day 29

A picture that can always make you smile...

Brooke can always make me smile! For her only being not even 2, she has solved some of my big problems! I love you baby girl!

Day 28

A picture of something you are afraid of...

I hate change...I am afraid of it. I dont like life being unstable. I suppose that is because my life has been so unstable growing up.

Day 27

A picture of yourself and a family member.

This is Quinton and me back in I think 1995.

Day 26

A picture of something that means a lot to you

This is a tough choice. I have posted pictures of so many things already...

Let me explain! Facebook is a world connecting tool. I have had the privelledge of getting to know one of my awesome second cousins (deb!), my half brother (Peter). I have been able to keep up to date with 100's of people. Yes there are downsides to it. But I think it is a good thing!

Day 25

YEAH 1/4 of the way through....

A picture of you last year and now...how have you changed since than...
This Year....

Last year:

How have I changed in a year...
I'd like to think I have matured. One of the biggest changes I see is my friends circle. Most of my friends are not the same as a year ago and as difficult as that is somedays...I am very Thankful!

Day 24

Something you crave a lot...

Any kind of chips (except salt and vinigar, ketchup or dill pickle!)

Day 23

A picture of you and the top five things you like about guys!

1) A guy must have strong faith. That is probably the sexiest thing possible. When a man genuinely loves God, it makes things so much better!

2) Boldness: A guy who isnt afraid to speak their mind, For them to be bold and stand up for whats right is incredible. I love when my husband backs me!

Ok now the shallow things

3) a guy that loves music...I know that mine does not but thats all good.

4) A guys arms...sexiest "PG" part on their bodies!

5) A guy names Cory Matthew Worms!

day 21

A picture of something you wish you were better at.

I wish I could find a picture of everything in the world..I put up a picture to represent knitting...but sewing, knitting crotcheting, things like that!

Day 2-0

A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

I would LOVE to go to Africa one day. Spend a week on a resort and a week doing missions. I would love to see the rich of Africa, but also the poor slums. One day!

Day 19

A picture of you when you were little

Gotta love the Mohawk! I was rocking it out here!

Day 18

A picture of your favorite drink...

Pepsi. All the way. Pepsi.

Day 17

A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life.

Ok so On this computer, I could not find a picture of Traci. Traci was my youth leader for numerous years. She laughed with me, she cried with me, she told me to behave and she cared deeply for me. Her and her husband Jason were crutical to me during my high school years. I dont think i would have made it with out them. I wish we were still closer, but sadly life changes.

Day 16

Another picture of yourself...

I hate pictures of yourself...grrr
This is me holding Molly at camp like 3 years ago...

Day 15

A picture of something you want to do before you die...

2 words...Sky Diving...

Day 14

A picture of your favorite Animal!

I love me some horse! This was at Roseau River Bible camp, so not my favorite horse in the world, but he was a good one...Don't remember this ones name. My favorite horse was Sunny at Winkler Bible Camp!

Day 13

A picture of your favorite band or artist...(I couldnt pick just one)

Laura Story: her music is so inspirational. I love her.

Oh Skillet, how I love you. I have all your CD's

Love Zac Brown band...I love all music

Day 12

A picture of something you love...

Ok so this is not my cat but I love MY cat. No other cats. Just Snickers! I rescued him from the harsh winter in November and he is the best cat ever...he loves to just sit still and cuddle!

Day 11

A picture of something you hate...


This was a simple choice!GROSS STUPID LITTLE ANIMALS!!!

Day 10

A picture of the person you do the craziest things with...

Man I wish I could find the picture of me Jess and Luke up on top of the water tower in Manitou but Jess and I have had a few wild adventures... Ending up in Morden not knowing how we got there...or where her clothes are....or keys...lol Good times! I wish we hung out more...

Day 9

A picture of your favorite color...

I love my lime green and hot pink! For 2 very different colors, they go together very well!

Day 8

A picture that makes you laugh

This picture makes me laugh! I hardly ever get funny pictures of Cory...This was July 1 2 years ago! I love you cory!

day 7

a picture of your most treasured item...
K taking a picture of my scrapbooks doesnt show much but i THINK that is what it would be...a close second would be...

Day 6

A picture of your best friend...that would be my husband...most days

Day 5

a picture of what you want to be when you grow up.

An Occupational Therapist. I think this would be an incredible job!

Day 4

A picture of your favorite tv show cast. I grew up watching Full House. I loved it and still do...I own season 1-4 and 7 on real DVD and own the rest on.... Still love watching that show!

Day 2

Day 2...A picture of someone you have been closest with the longest.... I actually had a hard time deciding who to put in this spot. I deceided to go with Katherine. We have been really good friends for years. Sadly, I find that times are changing and that friendship is as well.

SCREW YOU TIME!

I wrote this today after seeing someone, who was one of my closest friends growing up. I could tell she was burnt out, hurting, and just done for a bit. Yet, it wasn’t an option to go any further into the conversation than we went. I felt awkward. Yet again, the horrible thing of “TIME” has taken over and decided to edit one of my friendship…you know what dear time…I HATE YOU!

I came home and needed to write, to get it out, to deal with it. This is what came out. No, there is no rhythm scheme, it doesn’t really have any flow and its sad, but it is what I’m feeling again and again as I see time take my friends away.
________________________



I see you hurting, but you’re out of reach.
I see you longing, yet pretending to be content.
I wish I could see your heart, see your pain, and see your soul,
But those days are gone.

To go back to those days,
Of running in the rain, late nights and drinks
To biking around town and simply be insane.
I would pay a lot for those memories to be revived.

How life changes, how promises slide.
To be friends forever, a sister almost, has disappeared.
I know I need to accepted this,
But those days will never come again.

100 day photo challenge...

Day 1: A Photo of yourself with 15 facts....

1) The super cute girl with me in this picture is my God-Daughter Brooke!
2) I hate getting into a shower if the floor is cold. I always fill the tub with maximum hot water for a minimum of 5 minutes before showering.
3) I own the full series of Full House, Home Improvement and Family Guy.
4) I love my Ford Focus.
5) I can not wait to see the Pacific Coast in September!
6) I love working with youth and would love to be able to do ministries as a job.
7) I hate wearing matched socks.
8) I love me some flip flops, pools, bonfires and summertime.
9) I love anything to do with pictures...photography, scrapbooking, photo arrangments...
10) I have been married to the man of my dreams for nearly 2 years!
11) I love playing Halo, though I have not played in years!
12) Catan, Ticket to ride, killer bunnies and Monoploy=games I love!
13) Chips and pepsi-my weakness's
14) I never remember to use my wireless mouse...
15) I love Jesus!

HEAR THE MUSIC AND JOIN IN

Last night, I attended the final Nellie McClung choir concert under the direction of Mr. Al Thorliefson. It has been the inspiration of this post.

1) Music…
a. Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us- Unknown
b. Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. Music is the electrical soil in which the spirit lives, thinks and invents." - Ludwig van Beethoven.
c. Without music, life would be a mistake – Friedrich Nietzsche

I found these quotes and they stuck out to me. With quote letter a, so many people don’t let their music out…now I don’t believe that literally means melodies and lyrics. I believe that music is an expression of who we are. Music is our air, our thoughts, and our dreams. Songs often contain the words that we are to scared to speak…so we put them to music. I don’t want to die without freedom of music. Yes, I am a singer but if I left it at that, I think I would be missing the point. I want to let my music out. My “music” would be yes, actual music, but also my passions for people with disabilities, my love for my husband, and my desire to be so much more in this life.

Ludwig van Beethoven (baptized 17 December 1770–26 March 1827), had problems. He dealt with abuse, being poor, mental health issues, alcholism, depression, suicidal thoughts, and eventually being deaf. However, I do not believe that his music was taken to the grave with him. He is a perfect example of the first quote.

However that is not my point to this quote. My point is that this quote is self-explanatory. It is one of those quotes that I can read a hundred times and it will amazes me with its brilliant truth each time. No wisdom ever understood, no philosophy ever produced that can ever come close to the revelation that music is. Music can comfort the soul when nothing else, not even wisdom or truth can. Music is life giving.

For myself, words mean the world to me. Music, but more specifically, the words are my “electrical soil in which the spirit lives, thinks and invests.” Someone can simply make my day by telling me that they appreciate me. I try to return that favor as much as possible. I have a friend, that years ago, we would write notes to each other and hide them in place for each other. These notes meant the world to me, and I still have them (I love you Cherie!).

“Without music, life would be a mistake”-Friedrich Nietzsche. Yes it would be. Think about a world with no music, no birds, no notes, no melodies…it would be quite depressing I believe. We live in a world that is full of noise…a lot of noise we don’t even hear, white noise. How often do we miss the music? How many other blessings are we missing if we don’t HEAR THE MUSIC AND JOIN IN.

I Can Never Think of Whitty titles...

So I was blog-stalking some other people and decided to see what my last post entry was...February 28 (said proudly)...Oopps thats almost a month ago...not that anyone actually cares.

Though I have nothing super inspiriing to share about, my brain just simply needs to vomit and I say that in a positive way, if vomit can be positive :S

Vomit pile number 1: (why does this sound disgusting...oh wait...vomit ahh, whats a better word...thesaurus.com tells me regurgitate so lets go with that...regurgitate

Regurgitated Pile number 1 (take 2). Going back to school. So with our tax return this year, I was able to pay SBC so I am not officially a graduate of Steinbach Bible College, however, only with my certificate. "but thats only a one year accomplishment" you say...I say "you're right". I have one more course to do for my second year dipolma and a few more for my BA in Youth Ministry. So as I stand, I am hoping to do my one second year bible course through distance education starting very soon, and than in fall, first semester, I want to drive to Steinbach once a week and do 2, hopefully 3 courses in a day (morning, afternoon and evening). So starting September, I will be working fulltime and attending SBC nearly a full time course load, plus I hope to do Foundations through red river which is a 40 hour course. Should be a good fall.

Regurgitated Pile Number 2: MMMMMMMM French Vanilla...RRRRRRROlllll up the RRRRRimmmm is rigged!!! This is my 32 cup...do you know how many I have won??? 2, yes that is right, TWO, ONLY TWO!! One-in-six my butt!!! I should have won over 5 by now...stupid random odds!

Regurgitated Pile Number 3: I am looking for a new hobby. I tried knitting...I think I ended up throwing the needles at my cat (sorry Snickers). I tried crocheting...I got a little bit further with that. I think I threw the stick thinger at my mom (Sorry Mommy!). Thought about taking up knife throwing...than I decided maybe not the best idea lol. Just Kidding. I need something to do in the evening while Cory is out tinkering on the car/truck/quads/what ever else has a motor. Any suggestions?

Regurgitated Pile Number 4: I am craving culture right now...maybe not culture...a change of scenary. I was seriously tempted to fly to alberta for a weekend to see my best friend this month...stupid plane tickets :( way to expensive. |We are talking about going to Mall of America in 2 weeks (anyone want to come...I am seriously asking!) That will be good. I need a change of scenery besides Morden/Manitou/Winnipeg/Steinbach.

SQUIRREL (one just ran by my window...hold on...I see three, that is more normal)

Regurgitated Pile Number 5: When is summer going to come. I dont want the rhectorical answer of june 22 or whatever day it is. I want sandels, I want FLIP FLOPS!!! I want tank tops and beach, sun burns and do I dare say it...mosquitos. I want late night bonfires with a nice drink in my hand, surrounded by friends. I want 30 degree C days! Oh Summer!!!

Regurgitated Pile number 6: Oops I think I am empty.


:)---Cassandra

Brownie Night...

Recipe #1 Brownies (I give it a 5/10.)

1 1/2 cups of flour
1/2 cup cocoa Powder
1 tsp of salt
2 Cups of sugar
2 tsp of Vanilla
1 cup Oil
4 Eggs
1/4 cup Water

Add all ingrediants mix, bake in a 9X13 at 350degree for 30 Minutes
** I used 1/2 cup of water, baked for 20 minutes.

I was so disappointed with this. It has more of a cake taste than a brownie taste...


Recipe number 2 Yummy Brownies (I give it 6.5/10)

2 cups brown sugar
1 cup melted Margarine
1 Cup Flour
4 Eggs
1/2 cup Cocoa
3 tsp of vanilla
1 Cup CHoc Chips
MIx all, bake at 300 for 30 mInutes
*I melt my marg and brown sugar together because my brown sugar resembled rocks!
* I used slightly less Cocoa...I ran out
* baked at 350 (by accident) for 25 Minutes

This was a bit better tasting. More Chocolate! However that is why it was good...not because of the brownie taste. If anyone has a great recipe for brownies Please Please Please let me know

Jeremiah 29:11

Its been awhile since I posted anything specific. However I want to share today...

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

Now typically, I hear this verse and think nothing of it. However, I Have heard this verse over and over again and it has been hitting my like a bulldozer lately.

How incredible is it that God knows our plans? I struggle with this thought though. If God knows my plans, why can he not reveal this? I have been struggling more than people realize lately. My question has been "If GOd knows the desires of my heart, and I belive that God put the desires there, why am I still waiting".

My husband and I decided very early on in our marriage that we wanted kids...after a year of trying, we are no further ahead. HOwever in that year, I have seen numerous teenagers get pregnent. It hurts.

My brother in law and his very young girlfriend had a baby a couple weeks ago...this hurt me. I know it was not to spite us, or hurt us. However it is so tough. Everyone (more than normal) is asking us when are we going to have kids or when is it our turn. I wish people knew how much these comments devistated me.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

If our desire is so strongly to have children why is it not in GOd's plans for now? I just dont get it.However, I take so much comfort in this verse, very few people understand my pain right now, even if they claim they do, you don't! So for now...

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

An End and a New beginning...

Well today is my final day of work...than I am jobless (for 2 days) and than I start work at my new placement. 2 Gateway homes in Morden! I am so excited. I am not going to miss the threats, the yelling, the scream, the rap music, the police visits and such. I will miss the staff! However, I am so excited for the new houses. My paper work goes way up...from one person to 6 people. I am looking forwards to it!!

I have been incredibly blessed this last week! I have really discovered that I have an amazing boss! To be able to just sit down and be open and honest with her about the struggles I am facing, she has been through the same thing and conquored it very successfully. I love it!

We have our day retreat for youth tomorrow...should be a good time. Showing a video by Mark Driscoll on dating...you should all check his sermons out on the Mars Hill Church website! Incredible!

Test

2011

Well another here has come and gone, and we survived the year 2000 with flying colors. What do I say about this past year...It started off on a hot note...oh Guyana, I miss that hot weather, though it was great spending NYE with people I truely love. So I don't usually make resolutions for the new year, but this year I want to. Not sure why. I need some goals, some purpose to my life. So here we go.

1) Spend at least 5 minutes a day on my treadmill. I know that this does not sound like much, but I have a stupid muscle in my leg that gets really tight when I walk, so I need to start somewhere.

2)To find a new hobby by Febuary that I can participate in during the evenings.

3) To get back into writing. I use to journal, write songs/music/poetry and all that sort of thing. It is a great release.

4) To do and complete a minimum of 1 photo shoot a month

5) To actually follow my reservations.

Please hold me to these....